Haileigh’s EN100-11 Final: Portfolio Project

My Growth as a Writer

When I was first enrolled in EN100 to be honest I was nervous. I did ok through my English classes throughout high school but still didn’t think that I was a decent writer.  My first impression of my first day in class for EN100-11 with Dr. Dimock was “This is gonna be great.” Our first assignment: That was the night I learned____ was really exciting. This meant that I got to write an essay all about my own experiences.  All of the different types of essays: Reflecting, Observation, Analysis, Evaluation, and Position Argument sound really boring just by themselves, but Dr. Dimock always made writing each essay fun and interesting. This class really helped me learn all the different types of essay and how to write each and every one of them accurately.

For my first revision on one of my essays I chose to revise my analysis essay: Doritos: Goat’s Best Friend. After getting this paper back and also learning some other things from more recent papers I look at this essay and said “wow.” On my original paper Dr. Dimock suggested that I analyze the paper on a deeper analytical level so I went back and watched the commercial again and then caught on to what the company Doritos was actually trying to say. They were saying that Doritos are too good to share. So I went back into my original essay and edited it on a more analytical way and had to make some minor grammar changes along with some organization flaws.

For my second revision on the other essay I chose to revise my Observation essay: Ding! Ding! Dinner Time! After receiving a grade for this essay and carefully reading Dr. Dimock’s suggestions a lot of his suggestions were about organization just changing some of the parts and where they went in the paper to “get my point across” about my feelings about the University Center. Since this was only my second essay I wrote in this class I knew this essay would need some help. I went back and looked at it and I thought to myself “This organization is crazy.” I had thoughts here, and there, and everywhere. I was in the UC then the skylight terrace and then in Starbucks. After going back through and reading it I took some of the unneeded details out and made a lot of organizational edits. This Essay is much stronger now due to the organizational edits. Now a person can read through it and actually understand what I’m trying to express through my writing.

Choosing my blog to edit was really hard I couldn’t decide between Scrapbooking: A Unique Art, or Fa Mulan Saves China. But finally I decided to edit Fa Mulan Saves China. This by far was my favorite blog post, I felt like a true critic. Editing for this blog post was challenging because when Dr. Dimock graded the blog he did not give feedback on the blog posts, this was all up to me.

Going through this course taught me a lot of stuff and even showed me what I still need to continue to work on. Some of the things I need to work on still include: Organization, writing a thesis, getting to the point in my writing. I need to continue to master my skills for my EN140 class in the spring as far as writing a thesis. I know what I need to get across to my readers but have a hard time putting it into one or two sentences as a thesis. I need to work on getting my point across faster instead of rambling and putting in unnecessary details that do not pertain to the paper. That causes my readers to lose interest in my paper.  Also another think I need to continue on is to stay with the type of paper I am writing. Sometimes I find myself using informal writing types when things get serious when it comes to writing.

Some of my favorite things about this EN100 course were: the blog, days we were in the classroom, and the workshops we had. I knew about blogs before this class because my mom has one for school but didn’t really know how they worked, let alone write a blog post. When I found out that we would be using blogs in this course I was ecstatic. They seemed like something fun for us to do, not just essay, after essay, after essay.  Turns out I was right everything from the listicle to the art review. We got to use graphics, video clips and music to get out point across. Which I think is very useful because some things need to have visuals to get the full point across No one likes to get up for an eight am, especially for English. However, Dr. Dimock always made them energized and exciting.

Revised Observation Essay- Ding! Ding! Dinner Time!

I open the door to the University Center, I immediately run into a wall of numerous scents all meshed together. Everything from burgers to the smell of coffee beans being roasted in Starbucks, the best coffee shop on earth, around the corner. I am surrounded by warm, inviting colors like orange, brown and tan. Then my eyes are drawn to a fire-engine-red and flat black sign that says “RedHawk Market”.

RedHawk market is a food court that has multiple, delicious, dining options. There are countless people in line at the registers just waiting to dig into the food in their hands. Some are on their phones, waiting impatiently, others have made small talk with the person next to them.

The different dining options of RedHawk Market are arranged in “L” form. The first restaurant on the right is a burger joint that has a line from the front all the way to Timbuktu. The line is so long that it actually connects somewhere with the line for the registers. Sounds of burgers sizzling on the grill and flash-frozen-fries that just got dropped into the bubbling cauldron of oil is the background sounds for the orders being called out. “Two mile-high burgers on the double!”, and “One grilled cheese… and don’t burn it like last time Craig!” On the other side of a wall separating the burger joint and a salad bar there is a smaller line and a calmer atmosphere with soft-spoken workers asking “What dressing would you like?” and “Here or to-go?”.

The pizza place, Papa John’s is a grab-n-go style restaurant. Seems pretty easy right? The catch is that you have to squeeze through the river of people all scrambling to get their pizza. After that, the final test is to face the hellish heat of the food lamps to select what kind of pizza you desire.

The University Center is not only home to the RedHawk market but a study area too. As I grow farther away from the tantalizing scents and urgent sounds I notice a study area that is carpeted, unlike the cold, hard tile by the restaurants. There are comfy looking couches and love seats surrounded by small tables that seat four, these must be used for eating or studying. The table closest to the door is occupied by a woman who looks to be a tutor with a young man who is frantically typing away on some fancy Texas Instruments calculator. This section of the University center is so great because you can grab something to eat literally steps away and be in a comfortable area and do some studying.

As I look to my left I notice wall with absolutely huge windows that act as a barrier for the two rooms. The room on the other side of the glass has a sign that says “Skylight Terrace” inside there is a Latin restaurant called “Sono”, and a Dip-n-Dots, a famous ice-cream treat. In the Skylight Terrace there is a group of guys and girls sitting in one of the tables that seat bout 16. They are surrounded by piles and piles of papers, textbooks, and laptops and look as if they are trying having some sort of study group. But, at a closer glance they have started to procrastinate and are all shutting their books and are engaging in conversations across the table. The young women are trying to decide what they are going to wear that night when they go out. They young men are talking about the Cardinals game the night before.

Further back behind the Skylight Terrace is a dimly lit area for students to dine and this one even has four televisions to choose from to watch. Off in this deep, dark corner, almost going unnoticed is a single guy who is chowing down on some Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets and going back again and again with the same rhythmic ducks in the forever famous “Chick-fil-a Sauce”.

Just around the corner from the registers is the one and only Starbucks. A woman throws the door open and brings the powerful scent of roasting coffee beans with her mixed with the aroma of an artery-clogging Danish. The line to the counter stretches all the way back to the entrance from the outside. The seating looks very laid back and many are occupied by students studying or just enjoying their coffee coupled with a book.

I exit the doors that are at the top of the stairs that lead to Kent Library. I usually just go to the University center for one reason, and one reason only, to grab food to take back to my dorm. I was so focused on the thought of food that I didn’t even notice the many different kinds of people were around me. There was the devoted student getting tutored, and the social able group of people who started off as study group and suddenly turned to casual conversation. This has given me a new perspective on the University center. Maybe when asked, I will decide to reply “Here” instead of the rush, rush, rush, reply of “To-Go”. Overall the University center is not just a place to have dinner, but a place to socialize, and a place of resource.

Revised Analysis Essay- Doritos: Goat’s Best Friend

Doritos are a worldwide known brand of seasoned tortilla chips that come in a variety of flavors, from the original Nacho Cheese to all the other crazy flavors they have created. Every company that sells something does some sort of advertising and claims that their product is the best. Whether that be though billboards, or catchy tunes on television. Doritos has chosen a unique way to advertise their product though a very interesting television commercial. The commercial incorporates a popular song, humor and a one of a kind story about one special goat that really loves Doritos and will do just about anything for them. This Doritos commercial is trying to say that Doritos are just too good to share.

This particular Doritos commercial starts off with a man walking down a sidewalk, munching on a bag of Doritos when he strolls up to a man with a neck brace and a pair of crutches lying beside him. To the right of the man is a goat eating out of a Dorito’s bag and a sign next to him that says “Goat 4 Sale”. The man strolling down the sidewalk buys the goat and takes him home, thinking they will make great companions since they both love Doritos. The man then buys him and his goat a room full of Doritos. The goat eats and eats, bag after bag of Doritos. Then one night the goat is eating a bag in the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom while the man is asleep and the man is about to go insane by the monotonous munching sound. Then a caption pops up on the screen that says “The Next Day…” accompanied by some dramatic music. In the next scene the goat is standing in what used to be “Doritos room”. However it is now empty and the goat lets out a sort of horror movie scream to find that all his precious Dorito bags are gone. Then suddenly the goat goes on a rampage of destroying all the man’s personal items throughout the whole house and finally kicks open his bedroom to find not only the Doritos bags but also the man who is making a “Goat 4 Sale” sign. The commercial ends with the goat kicking the door shut with his hoof followed by a black screen, not letting the viewer know what horrific things happens to the man.

This commercial aired by Doritos has a very unique way of selling the idea that Doritos are just too good to share. The commercial chose to use the popular song Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum to add to the upbeat, humorous aspect of the commercial. The commercial also appeals to a rhetorical strategies, pathos, to sell their product. I personally thoroughly enjoyed the commercial by Doritos. I enjoyed it because the beginning of the commercial seemed normal and very intriguing. It was very intriguing because when the man purchases the goat it is from a man with a neck brace and crutches on the ground beside him and made me think “Uh- Oh this goat is bad news!” Another section of the film that I enjoyed was when the goat let out the horrific scream that was so sudden and unexpected.

This commercial uses the rhetorical strategy of both positive and negative pathos in it. The positive pathos is that the commercial sets out an idea of companionship between the goat and the man. The man does all his hobbies while eating Doritos with his goat companion. Then about halfway through the pathos switches entirely and goes to a negative pathos. This drastic change happens due to the fact that the man grows completely mad by the goat’s incessant chomping on bag after bag of Doritos. This makes the goat go on a destructive rampage and this strikes fear into the audience. This symbolizes that even though the man bought the goat all of those Doritos bags the goat is still not willing to share.

This commercial also uses situation appropriate music. At the beginning of this commercial the “oh so catchy” main guitar riff from the song Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum. Toward the middle of the commercial when the goat finds that all the Doritos bags are gone sharp, quick, dramatic brass music plays telling us that something very bad is going to happen soon. The very last, and most effective thing that Doritos does is that they made the ending of the commercial letting the viewer hang. At the end of the commercial the goat kicks the door shut and is followed by a black screen. This is so effective because the viewer has no earthly idea what the goat actually did to the man, and lets the viewer’s imagination finish the rest of the story.

This is definitely a commercial that will stay in the viewer’s mind for a long time. They’ll ask their friends: “Hey, did you see the new Doritos commercial?” This makes people want to go out and by a bag of Doritos. I know it made me want to go buy a bag, but luckily I had a bag in my dorm.

Revised Blog Post- Fa Mulan Saves China

Disney’s “Mulan” isn’t like some of Disney’s other “Princess movies” where a damsel in distress has to be saved. Fa Mulan is a very different female character compared to all the other female roles throughout all of the Disney Films. She is a tomboy teenager who has just went to meet her matchmaker and causes total destruction in the process. She even sets the matchmaker’s backside on fire. By the end of Mulan’s meeting, the matchmaker has tea all over her and tells Mulan “YOU WILL NEVER BRING YOUR FAMILY HONOR!”.

Following this horrible experience Fa Mulan hits rock bottom and thinks she doesn’t mean anything to her family with her song “Reflection” that include lyrics like “I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter”. Then suddenly the Huns, and their leader Shan Yu, are going down the Wall of China and the emperor calls for one man of every family to help fight for their country, including Mulan’s father. However Mulan’s father is older and has to use a crutch to get around but still accepts the scroll to go to battle for his family. During the night Fa Mulan cuts her hair to the length of a man’s, takes her father’s armor, saddles up her horse, asks her ancestors for guidance and goes to battle in her father’s place. The ancestors awaken and send a guardian dragon named Mushu to protect Mulan.

Mulan goes to train to fight the Huns under her man alias name,”Ping.” When training for battle she befriends three other men, “Yao”, “Chien Po”, and “Ling.” Mulan goes through battle training un-noticed and faces the Huns on a mountain. However during the battle, Mulan is injured by Shan Yu by a slash to the abdomen. When Mulan is having her wound dresses the nurse discovers that “Ping” is actually a woman. At this moment Mulan is almost killed by her trainer and the man she has fallen in love with, Li Shang. However Shang spares Mulan’s life but leaves her stranded on top of the mountain to die while the rest of the army goes to tell the emperor that they have killed the horrible Shan Yu. Then Mulan sees that the one lone survivor of the battle is Shan Yu and Mulan races back to the Palace to warn Li Shang.

When she arrives Li Shang and her comrades do not believe her and she goes off to warn the emperor but Shan Yu has already arrived and the emperor is being held captive in a palace tightly locked with guards. Then Li Shang agrees to help Mulan break into the palace and rescue the emperor. They break in and Mulan and Shan Yu have an encounter on top of the palace and battle there while Mushu sneaks off to the firework tower and gets ready to shoot Shan Yu while mulan is battling Shan Yu. Then Mushu fatally shoots Shan Yu. Mulan gets the credit for saving the emperor and ends up “Bringing her family honor” and actually saves China from the Huns and the horrible Shan Yu.

There are multiple aspects of this film that make it worth watching. Among those are amazing music, great story-line, and amazing actors and actresses.

Like every great movie, Mulan has a remarkable soundtrack to go along with the movie, everything from Mulan’s ballad “Reflection” to Li Shang’s awe-inspiring “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”.

This is a great story line of how a young woman impersonates a man to go off and fight for her elderly father for her family’s name. During this movie Mulan actually goes off and discover who she really is. In the end Mulan brings not only her family honor, but the whole country of China by saving the emperor from the horrible Shan Yu.

Even though this is an animated film and you can’t really see the actors and actresses the chemistry between the characters is very noticeable. The relationship between Mulan, Mushu and the Horse (the movie never gives him/her a name) is very prominent. All three of them really have  a connection like family (they kinda are) and are there for each other all the way through the film.

Disney’s Mulan is overall a very effective film, considering that it is so different compared to all the other “princess movies” by Disney. Mulan is truly about discovering who you are and that if you don’t think you are very special then you are actually quite special indeed. I mean come on Mulan says in the beginning of the film in her song Reflection: “Maybe I’m not meant to play this part” here she is saying that she couldn’t be  the perfect daughter and she would break her family’s heart if she truly acted like herself. She asks herself “Why is my reflection someone I don’t know… when will my reflection show who I am inside”. Then Mulan goes off and saves China.


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